De-Mythtifying Kink

In Those Kinky Goth Girls Caroline defines kink:

Kinky is deviancy: sexual deviancy (in my eyes). One can't be any more precise than that; the 'strength' will vary according to the perceiver's norms, values and life experience.

Which is probably the most reasonable definition I've heard yet for such a subjective term.

She also discusses kink and feminism, saying:

They don't sit easily together.

Why? It's complex. Sometimes though, it feels like "we" are being accused of not looking beyond what facilitates sexual agency and empowerment, whereas sometimes I'm not sure "they" look beyond their own perceptions of what 'sexy' involves. Why is dressing sexy bad? Because, they might say, it panders to the male's perception of what is sexy. But why does that necessarily involve submissiveness? And why not look deeper into that - is it male? How do males really interpret sexy? Why is sexuality interpreted in terms of gender, does it need to be? I think it might be grand to look beyond that and poke at it a wee bit...

I must admit, I hear comments regarding my "posing" as a strong woman, a feminist, while "pandering as a Domme".

There's much to explore here, and like my earlier post it has much to do with over-simplified definitions & over-whelming expectations, but I must table it a bit while I recoup from the weekend of travel.